For me there is nothing more important to childhood development then self-expression. It’s no secret that providing opportunities for children to express feelings, emotions, thoughts and creativity in a safe environment is the key to making them successful, confident and self-reliant.

In today’s world it’s hard for children to be themselves. They are influenced by peer pressure, and all kinds of media. They also have academic pressures to perform and “helicopter parents” to contend with. Despite these challenges, it is expressive children who grow up to be confident and dynamic. Confidence and dynamism are arguably even more important that academic smarts.

New research shows that children who are able to express themselves to their moms are better able to resist peer pressure and avoid negativity later in life. “Parents who can have the right kind of discussions with their children are setting their children up to handle peer’s influences,” says study author Dave Szwedo, a doctoral student at the University of Virginia in Charlottesville.

We all want our children to have opinions, and express themselves when they’re adults. My question is how can children be encouraged to express who they are and what they believe? While there are no perfect answers that would fit every child, the idea that we can help children express who they are in a variety of ways resonates with child developmental specialists. Below are five simple concepts I use to help my children to express themselves:

• Parents play a key role in nurturing creativity among children. Children can express themselves through writing, poetry, acting, photography, art, the digital media, cooking, and unstructured plays. For example, my children are interested in watching a cooking competition show called “Cutthroat Kitchen”, where food is prepared in a creative and unique way. They then act it out themselves demonstrating their cooking skills, while I play the role of the judge in the show. I praise them when they experiment and make something different. This activity is not only fun for us but it also allows my children to make decisions, and do as much of the work as possible themselves. I notice that when I praise them for thinking outside the box and taking risks, their imagination and expression blossoms.
• For me curiosity is the fuel for development in a child’s life. If a child stays curious, he or she will explore and discover. I always encourage my children to speak out and respond to questions answer with reasoning. I remember that when my daughter was reading the book “I am Malala,” she was quite curious and asked many questions. For instance she asked the reason Malala followed her dreams for girls’ education and why and how she got shot by the Taliban. I answered her questions patiently and logically. The point is that when we encourage kids to seek answers to questions that pique their interest they develop ability to express themselves.
• I feel parents can impact children’s sociability when they help them to understand that the words they choose make a difference to the relationships they create. Children imitate what they see and hear, particularly from their parents. It is important to teach them how to ask for what they want in a respectful way. For example, even when I am in the midst of chaotic activity, I try to think about what I’m saying and doing as a reaction to when my children do something. I want to teach them how to negotiate – to get what they want without hurting others feelings. It is important to teach them that every social interaction is tied to an emotional reaction; we help them avoid impulsive behavior and think through difficult situations before acting.
• I believe that we can build resilience when we push children gently to the edges of their intellectual, emotional, social, and physical comfort zones. Parent should support and encourage them as they take risks and overcome challenges. That way they grow from failure and learn how to bounce back from life’s ups and downs.
• If I could teach them only one value to live by, it would be integrity. For me, success will come and go, but integrity is forever. It’s about courage, honesty, and respect in one’s daily interactions and doing the right thing even when no one is watching. Parents can shape children’s integrity by treating them with respect and dignity, and listening to their feeling and concerns without judgment. For example I hate to see my children treated this way. At times I intermediate my twins’ fights. I tell my kids it is fine to say what you want, but you need to think about how you were saying it. I don’t want domineering children, but I don’t want to squash their spirits either. I want them to know that it is ok to have an opinion and be strong-willed. It takes time and repetition but I strongly feel that parents need to help their children consider other people’s feelings when stating their own perspective. The key is to make manners, politeness, courtesy and all these other big words fun for kids to learn.

These are some of the ways to teach our children the ability to express themselves independently and responsibly. There is no way a child can be innovative and develop a well rounded personality without an environment of respect and tolerance. Respect is won by parents by giving it to children and earned by an acknowledgement of the children’s innate worth and equality.

I strongly feel that children will express themselves with honesty, compassion, and other positive values that we would pass on to them. Neither we nor our children are perfect, but we can do better if we provide them with the right opportunity to help them mature into capable, caring, and engaged adults. Parents have to see beyond the narrow quantitative measures of success to the core elements that help children become emotionally healthy and productive.